Genesis to Love...

One of my biggest fears use to be becoming unsuccessful but I don't believe that anymore. It's even impossible to fathom that lie anymore, knowing failure is not an option for me. 

But I am a hopeless romantic scared as FUCK to fall in love. I know. How schizophrenic does that sound. I have become so guarded that I question every motive and have self sabotage any possible potential for love in the past. And being a single mother doesn't help either which gives me more reason to be overprotective of my space, heart and mind. I tell myself "I can't love anyone right now because I can't compromise my time with my daughter." I mean I don't have the leisure of having a babysitter which I don't like leaving her with unless deemed necessary, like a birth. And I am a recent transplant her in Austin, TX so really I have no family and friends.

Yes there's some pain here and fear of being hurt again even though I know it's inevitable but are they worth the hurt? I guess I need the assurance that person will be patient with my guardedness in a generation which is quick to give up for most people pursue relationship with very selfish motives. 

You see at the age of 16 I intentionally surrounded myself around successful partnership/marriages to look up to for I never saw that growing up. At my current age, I have already witnessed several of my friends experience divorce and broken families. I guess I need to know that person has the same value system as I which is the advancement of the institution of the family and has the vision of "empireship" for our children. Most of all I must feel a willingness to submit to his imperfections as the one I have chosen to lead my daughter and I. But most importantly, I always speak and admire all the relationships that started with friendship.

Maybe I use my daughter as an excuse but if I'm not good she's not good. She is my #1 priority. So if your are not someone I would not have my daughter look up to why would I brother to enter into courtship with you?

Are you worthy of courting my daughter and I?

@tinyandbrave

But that doesn't face the fact my propensity to be guarded. So as I am fully confident of the success of my future I must be also confident in love. So for the new moon (March 28th) I will charge my Rose Quartz yoni egg (as well as charge my carnelian and Green Aventurine crystals) and clutch my yoni until the pink moon (April 11th) approaches any beyond, lol! I will say prayers and be open to the possibilities for I love in a world with limitless miraculous abundance in all things. I will NOW believe I am deserving of love while I continue to LIVE my life.

With Venus (my ruling planet) being in the New Moon it's believed to bring hope of love and money. A New Moon represents the end of one cycle and the beginning of another new 28 day cycle. So today I decide to embrace love for myself and for my future partner if granted God-willingly-and if not I am still content but I will at least be totally honest with my Creator of ALL my desires. I will begin to pray for his well-being whoever he is; before I ever meet him or have an idea of who he is. I will look to put old habits to death and welcome any positive energy while still being intuitive/discerning. I will be honest with myself and anyone I cross paths with and not hold prisoner my feelings but also not take my feelings as law for feelings are fickle. I will remove thoughts that no longer serve me.

@alex_elle

As the new year has entered in (March 2lst), this new moon symbolizes leadership, new ideas and taking action. I will be making plans, pushing forward and charting new courses, not only in love, as the Pink Moon (April 11th) and my Birthday (April 21st) approaches. Let all of us nourish, heal and love ourselves. Make space in our lives for self-love. Take action on our lives based from a place of love, whatever that may be. Take advantage of the new moon...

I am a Mama Bear

I am a mama bear.

I don't really think I had a choice, to be honest. I can remember defending my younger brother and cousins when we were in school, pouncing on anyone who hurt or threatened them. Once when I was in 5th grade, I slammed a 2nd grader against the lockers because he was picking on my brother. For as long as I can remember, I've always had this innate instinct to protect those I love.

So my kid never stood a chance.

When he was learning to ride a bike, he was covered head to toe in protective gear because wasn't no concrete gonna hurt my baby. When he plays sports I'm the first to jump up to the field if he gets hurt. Even when he was younger and we were at the playground and I would hear his cry of injustice, that scream that would indicate that someone has hurt or wronged my baby, I would spring into action, ready to fight whomever it was that made my baby cry. I am not above confronting toddlers, either.

My love for this boy knows no bounds and I will literally anything to make sure he is safe and protected. And that's how we ended up moving to Japan.

About 2 years ago, we were traveling through Penn Station and my son needed to go to the toilet. So, I pointed him in the right direction and left him to it. Time passes and he hadn’t come back, so I went to investigate to see what was taking so long. I find him wandering around, completely missing it. So I show him where it was before he wet himself.

When he came back I asked him why he didn’t ask the officer that was standing near the bathroom for directions. And he just looked up at me with this look like he was afraid to. And as much as I wanted to tell him that he had nothing to be afraid of, I wasn’t entirely sure that was true.

You see, I have a pretty big kid. He can easily be mistaken for a teenager at his young age of 10. And after the deaths of Mike Brown and Tamir Rice - two children who were approached as grown men and gunned down by police - I knew I needed to do all that I could to keep him safe.

So we moved to one of the safest countries on the planet. But after we got here I was soon confronted with the need to not keep him physically safe anymore but I would now need to fight to preserve his personal identity and sense of self.

So I'm raising a Third Culture Kid, I knew that being in other countries would be a challenge. Especially with him being so young when we moved and being in a place where not many look like him. But the challenge we faced wasn't with the locals, it was at his school.

The place where he spends more time during the week than he does at home, I needed that place to be a safe space of support and acceptance. But instead they were instead sending him messages that what he looks like isn't acceptable.

So, mama bear came out. And I found myself at the school weekly defending my son against a principal who made snide comments and suggesting that his hair could look more mainstream, like everyone else’s. My claws came out when his teacher began to target him and sent him to the principal’s office for reading on the carpet without permission.

I ultimately pulled him from his school and moved him to a place that was more accepting of his individuality.  

I know that raising a TCK can have a profound effect on his personal identity, especially in places where not many look like him. But it is my hope that I'm able to help him understand who he is through our travels and by connecting with others. That he can find bits of himself in those who don't speak his language or look like him.

In this journey, I want him to know that he has endless possibilities, but I will challenge anyone who tries to place restrictions on him. I want him to believe in himself and I’m ready to stand up against anyone who makes him question his abilities.

I know that the other side of being a mama bear is allowing him to go off into the world with all that I've taught him. That he will one day apply all the lessons I’ve taught him and walk in the examples I’ve tried to set for him of how to move throughout this world on his own.

One day I’ll be ready. But until that day comes, I'll be there ready with the Vaseline.

Elmeka Henderson is a psychologist, photographer, and mother who is currently living in Japan. She is the creative voice behind Adventures in Raising a Vagabond, a blog that offers a first hand account of a mother traveling with her boy. There, Elmeka offers a unique perspective on not only traveling abroad, but surviving parenthood in a foreign land. You can read more about her at www.adventuresinraisingavagabond.com or follow her on Instagram @elmazing.

Elmeka is also the founder of Raising Vagabonds, a family-centered travel company whose vision is to change the perception of single parent travel by dispelling beliefs and encouraging parents to travel with their children by eradicating barriers and challenging the mindset and misconceptions of family travel. Their mission is to empower parents to break out of their comfort zones and live their best lives unapologetically. Through cultural immersion and community service, Raising Vagabonds helps to strengthen the family bond through adventures and first-hand geography lessons. Visit their website at www.raisingvagabonds.com and follow them on Instagram @raisingvagabonds.