"There is a secret in our culture and it’s not that birth is painful, but that women are strong” Laura Stavoe

I knew I was called to Midwifery before I even knew what Midwifery was.

Let's take a blast to the past when I told my sisters how important it was for me to have their placentas after giving birth. If they didn't want it, that is. They were both confused and per usual thought i was crazy. As the middle child of 5, being crazy was nothing new to me. Something shifted in me that day. Honestly I don't know how I even knew about placentas. Maybe i heard it somewhere, or maybe it was the sweet whisper from my beloved spirit. The research began shortly after. From watching animals give birth on the animal planet. To watching women give birth on TLC. My mother who is a nurse. Even took me with her to work on bring your daughter to work day. Which of course this was the perfect opportunity to ask as many questions as i could think of.

Growing up I have always been aware of my divine feminine energy and the ability i had to strongly express myself. Which as a young Haitian women came with its obstacles. I was also quick to notice when other young women were not able to channel their inner voices. I stood up for those women, and we grew into our bodies together. I strongly believe that we all should stand together, empower, up lift, guide, encourage and support one another. It is through this that we will be guided back to our roots and the divinity within one another.

The fascination of reproductive health continued as i journeyed through a Vo Tech High School focused on Healthcare. Convinced that I was going to be a OB-GYN. Shortly after doing research I became aware of how much conventional schooling i would have to endure. Which I was not excited about at all. I was not aware of the different paths that could be taken to become a midwife, or even having the option to be a Doula. Without even knowing i Doula-ed for a friend in high school. I didn’t get to keep her placenta, but it was a life changing experience.

After graduating from high school I returned to teach a “Girls 101” class. Where I facilitated a sacred therapeutic space for young teens to express themselves and showcase their creativity through dance. I feel in love with the sacred sisterhood, the trust, the transformation with all of the inside work that was being done. I wanted to do more.The question was how? Our classes came to an end. These amazing young women all left to graduate. I left with my hair chopped off and a whole new perspective of life.

Avoiding the conventional schooling I found myself journeying through beauty school where i believed that this was a part of the transformation for women. I thought this could suffice my calling to become a Midwife. After becoming licensed as a cosmetologist and working in a few hair salons. I knew this just wasn’t enough. My spirit was not satisfied.

My soul work ignited the day my niece transitioned to the physical world. I supported my sister in every way that i could, but it just didn't feel like enough. I felt very strong that the treatment she received at the hospital could’ve been better. In so many ways. Was it because she was a young black women? Did they think she was uneducated?? Why were so many nurses involved? Why were there so many people in the room? So many questions fluttered my mind.

With the belief that the environment you are born into sets the tone for the rest of your life. I took a vow this day to honor that belief. To find the answers to those questions and support other women, their families and mine too. So we are armed with knowledge to make informed decisions. That aren’t made from fear.

“ If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any” . After searching for a Doula training that would align with my philosophy, I later trained with Ancient Songs Doula Services with Chanel- Porchia and Patricia Thomas based in Brooklyn NY. Then I volunteered at a local hospital as a Doula for young moms.The universe threw me in shortly after that I trained with Mercy In Action with the Penwells based in Idaho. I become a Certified Childbirth Educator through GentleBIrth Institute. I’ve trained with Boston Doula ProjectPAIL with Nnkea Hall and ROSE. Along this journey I have been blessed to have met so many amazing humans. Built some amazing sisterhoods.

So much has been learned. I am fortunate to have been able to quiet my mind and open my heart to such a magical calling.

Currently I am Doula-ing all over Massachusetts and apprenticing with some local phenomenal midwives . I’m assisting mamas everywhere. Hosting sacred meetups for mamas

“ Just Be- Mamas United ” where women can come together and build with each other. My goal is to continue supporting mamas in my community. Create networks to connect women and families. It truly takes a village!

Being haitian to me is somewhere in between being bold and being humble. Sorry Kendrick sometimes I don’t feel like sitting down. Haiti was the first colony to gain it’s independence in 1804. I have the blood of warriors flowing through my veins. Goosebumps take over whenever I think of this. Being haitian to me means being connected to the sounds of the drums that my ancestors danced their way into freedom to. Being haitian means we all eat when mom cooks, no one is left out. Being haitian means dancing once you hear kompa. Being haitian is enjoying the sweet taste of sugar cane. Being haitian is listening to your mom when she has a dream. Being haitian is serenity in the ability to allow creole to flow freely through my mouth. The language created by my people. Being haitian reminds me to Just Be - Just Be still and allow the energy of my people to guide me and walk with me as my heart beats purposely.

My hopes for Haiti’s reproductive health system is to continue training midwives and educating haitian people. I hope to take part in one of these trainings. Unfortunately Haiti has one of the highest maternal death rate. Which leave many children orphaned in their first weeks of life. This is scary. The reality is we need more help, we need more hands on deck. This needs to change and I hope to be apart of this!

If you can give one piece of advice in terms of becoming and/or being a midwife what would it be?

Whether Midwifery is a calling or a hobby stay open to whatever your path needs from you to unfold.

If you were a superhero what would your power be?

My superpower would be my intuition. I'd be Intuitive Girl.

Birth is... a right of passage

Womanhood is... my identity.

Motherhood is... a Journey

What is your favorite part of your body and why?

My feet because they bravely takes the lead and guides me to places where I'm sometimes not ready to be .

If you could live anywhere on earth, where would you live?

Somewhere warm, where I can walk barefoot, swing in a hammock and enjoy ocean/mountain views.

What’s your favorite song and why?

I get out- Lauryn Hill. Always a refreshing reminder to release myself from conforming to the boxes society tends to place us in.

What is the best thing about your life right now?

The best thing about my life right now is certainly my journey of healing thyself.

What do you do for self care?

Self care for me is a daily practice. I wake up really early every morning and meditate. It’s vital for me to open myself up to the day and set the tone. Throughout the day, I remember to check in with myself to assure I am getting what I need emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.

I have now existed and lived for 36 years on this earth. I am blessed . I am humbled. I am grateful. And I will try to celebrate everyday possible.

It's been a year since I decided I would share my journey as a single mother pursuing her dreams of becoming a midwife. I wanted to share with you the four lessons I have learned in this year. The four lessons that stood out for me. The number 4 is the number of stability, order and completion of justice. So here is mines:

1. "Become comfortable with the uncomfortable." Dr. Eric Mason. On June 29th I landed in Dallas with my daughter to live in the home of a friend. It was a very difficult decision but I had to humble myself if I truly believe this was the path I was to pursue. Being a single woman in her 30's with a toddler; you want to avoid making a decision that will affect the well being of your child. My living situation was a private bedroom but shared common areas, with barely no privacy or the freedom to be me. I would beat myself many of times of the decision I made. I should be married, in love, own my own home, and pregnant with my 2nd child by my standard of success. I couldn't find a stable job in Dallas that would allow me to apprentice and provide for my daughter and I. People who thought who were friends began to distant themselves. And I was alone and homesick majority of the time. Many times I wanted to pack my stuff and move back to Philadelphia regretting my decision. In the mean time, I would study in the middle of the night while my daughter would sleep while having to wake up the next day to work for a bi-weekly stipend that didn't cover our needs.

After six months I relocated to Austin, Texas to work at a Birthing Center while my daughter stayed with my mother in Connecticut for a few months. The hardest part was when I would call and facetime her at night and she would refuse to speak to me. I felt as though she was forgetting who her mother was or thinking I wasn't her mother anymore. Was I fucking up my daughter's life and/or development? Was she angry at me? Did she feel abandoned by me? What was I missing seeing her do for the first time or how was she progressing or the lack of. But in the meantime I kept hustling and kept looking for work. Two weeks in Austin I released from my duties from the Birthing Center because they felt I was too green for the position as a birth assistant in a fast pace environment. Once again at that very moment I questioned all my decisions to move to Texas. But as quickly it came it quickly left and I wouldn't allow myself to feel sorry for myself and I did what I knew best-hustle. As I was walking out the building of that birth center I was sending emails to every possible midwife in Austin I knew and could find. By Thursday that week I found a new apprenticeship with two midwives for the price of one!!! It wasn't paying but it was better then the original plan. Most apprentice struggle just to find one preceptor let alone two. I am TENACIOUS.

2. Pay attention to your bad habits. I have never been able to stay at a job longer than two years. I admire folks who have been able to stay at their jobs for years. It is the skill of mastery. But for me I get bored very easily. Eventually I feel stagnate and a need for a new challenge. I needed to know that in whenever in serving my community there is no glass ceiling but that is the case in social service. I would always feel I would hit a wall which limit the extent of how I can help the people I serve. Reason why I still haven't gotten my license as a counselor after receiving my masters because then I would be force to adhere to the regulations of the state like placing a time limit on how long I can counsel someone. With midwifery I would constantly be challenged and learn something new.

I also think my inability to stay somewhere speaks of enterprising spirit who's a late bloomer, lol! I had to look back in my past life and currently and saw I found joy in creating, motivating, and giving. I love inspiring others to be the best they can be. By nature I am passionate-for people and life. I see every challenge as an opportunity and I am constantly optimistic. I have come to accept adaptability. I am willing to take risk and execute, even when the fear of failure is singing in my ear. I rather fail trying then fail by not trying at all. But if truth be told if I try it's just another opportunity to solve an opportunity.

There's so much I would love to share with you but I know I must also be patient. And many times some of those ideas and visions are just that and not meant to become more. So currently I am learning to distinguish what should be tossed to my mental trash? What should be delegated to someone else? What should be worth my time? What should be done now vs., later? Learn that NOW but don't be afraid to make mistakes and learn from them. I am a VISIONARY.

3. Rejection can be a beautiful gift/surprise for something better. I did not allow myself to be distracted by temporary obstacles. You see I was willing to be homeless for my dreams/purpose; crazily-sane and in love with the process/journey. Don't be fooled by what's before you bc what's before you maybe just a distraction from what's really happening on your behalf. See through the filters, that we live in a world where God created and operates in ABUNDANCE. Don't let fear be your roadblock. Approaching the alters of this earth in this perspective, attracts all that is meant for you.

People will tell you no or what they think for you. But will you accept what they say? Will you allow them to make their truth your truth? Whatever that area maybe - career, family, love, etc., that you're trying to obtain will you take the NO's personal or as protection? I have realized that many opportunities that I've tried to make happen were not really meant for me or I just wasn't ready to receive at that time. Now in my life that's how exactly how I see no's as... either I'm being protected from something, I'm not ready and/or there's something better... or I just simply create my own door, create from my very own obstacles and/or need within my community. My obstacles are usually my biggest motivation. I am an OVERCOMER.

4. Love hard while protecting your magic. Be genuine in all that you do no matter what and who opposes that. But be wise and intuitive on how you share yourself with people. Everyone will not be happy for you and sadly, many people may not be in an healthy place emotionally and/or mentally and spiritually to be a part of your team. Don't force relationships but let them organically happen. Realize that your willingness to wrestle through issues in your "friendships" and/or "business partnerships" doesn't mean they are willing or mature enough to do the same. Sometimes people even unconsciously trying to destroy you, precisely because they recognize your power - because they see it and they don't want it to exist because it highlights their shortcomings. So create boundaries that will protect your spirit, your magic. When you fix your thinking then the problems fix themselves. Once you learn to be happy and at peace you won't tolerate being around people who operate in their lower existence-lower vibration unless they are ready to change that. And if they are quick to walk away then they never intended to stay. THEIR REJECTION IS YOUR PROTECTION. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL. I am WHOLE.

And some people want to stay in their pain because it's comfortable and easy but that's actually a slow death. So make yourself a priority before you raise a banner for the next person and their dreams. SO DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'RE PROUD AND EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM IS EQUALLY EATING. I am a GIVER.

At the end of the day it comes down to the weighing and the condition of ones heart when dealing with all these lessons while being grateful and waiting in humble expectation at all times. Do the heartwork necessary to receive all God/Universe has intended for you to have. We are BLESSED and DIVINE.

Love, Peace and Blessings.

Blog

#FutureFemmeSage: Stephanie "Be" Joseph

When All Odds Bring About Balance... #MAAT

Tiny & Brave Holistic Services

Get Updates from Us!